I’m not great — in fact, notoriously bad — at keeping in touch with people I care about. I leave them with the best of intentions to call regularly to keep in touch, but I allow life to get in the way and before I know it weeks have gone by. I used to think this proved me an uncaring, shallow person, but I’ve learned it’s more that I am easily overwhelmed by the present and, of course, I don’t scale well.
It got so bad that I was letting months go by without calling or writing Mom. What kind of cretin goes months without calling his mother? Well, this kind, I suppose… sigh. I never stopped feeling guilty about it and yet I did nothing.
The solution, of course, is routine. Routine is the antidote to scale. Take anything you care about doing — if you can make it part of a routine, you will do it. If you don’t, you might as well admit you’re not going to do it and deal with the consequences.
It seems a bit wooden to make talking to your mother part of a routine, but I tried it, and it works. I write her an email every morning (just before this blog). She always writes back. I know everything that’s happening in her life and she feels much closer to me. It doesn’t take any effort at all and it’s delightful to be properly connected with one of the most important people in my life.
So, take my word for it — write your mother every day. You’ll be glad you did.